can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
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