and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
Randomize