I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
