Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
