that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
what the fuck happened to the tacos
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
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