physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
