Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Randomize
