Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
