I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
