its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Randomize