She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Randomize
