I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Randomize
