do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
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