So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
