His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
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