That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
