I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
