and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize
