the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Randomize
