brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Randomize
