it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
