I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
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