Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
