i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize