Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
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