i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
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