To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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