Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
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