im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
