she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize