we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Randomize
