Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
