but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
