it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
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