dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
