she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
I FOUND THE LEGS
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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