You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
