sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
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