I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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