I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
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