she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
