Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
