I'd wear matching sweaters with you
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Randomize
