so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Randomize
