remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
No subtext here. People are naked.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
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