well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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