had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
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