is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Randomize
