He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
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