Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
