How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Randomize