If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
