Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
vagina is talking i cant
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
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