Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Randomize
