I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Randomize
