I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Randomize
