i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
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