i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
It's blow job season.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
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