i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
Randomize
