Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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