Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
