gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
