I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize