so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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